you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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