i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
