yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think i have herpe
just one?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Hippo gnu deer
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
