i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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