nut hugger
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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