the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
