Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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