it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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