Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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