Fuck appropriateness.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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