Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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