i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize