You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
