the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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