We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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