I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
