he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
