she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
