You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
