If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
