I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
