There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
