he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize