i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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