For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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