She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Randomize