I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
