I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
