covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
