i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
40s are totally the cure
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
