Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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