Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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