The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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