I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
