Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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