Where did you get a picture of my penis
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
