did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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