walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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