got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
