i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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