Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
