My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
