i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
