If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
