it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
