: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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