Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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