I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize