Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
