The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
porn star boner night. come get it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
