So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
A bitchslap is in order.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
