K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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