I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
