I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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