Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
