Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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