I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
