matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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