Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
