do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
