where am i from again
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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