I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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