Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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