We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Its about making memories worth repressing
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
