i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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