The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Let's paint friendship bongs
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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