What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
